oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
