I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
