Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
