Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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