Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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