He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize