I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
We have started to decorate penises.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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