were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
