people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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