he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
