Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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