I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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