He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
