I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
this beer tastes like vomit already
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
