please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
