Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
