Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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