I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
