two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
