making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize