You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
