if only i could text you this smell
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize