This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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