I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
