idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize