How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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