I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize