i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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