my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
