so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
