I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
