hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
