just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
She's the barista slut.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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