This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
