some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
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