I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
