I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
