I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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