According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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