he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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