She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
