she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
