Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
