Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I touched a dick in church today
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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