I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Randomize
