yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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