Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
