so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
im holly from the hills drunk
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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