what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
