Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
