all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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