i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
