apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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