If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
