its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
