My sheets look like a crime scene.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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