My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize