Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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