Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I just had sex on a roof
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
