I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
