so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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