she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
You made out with two different species that night
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
