end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
