i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
