I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Randomize
