Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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