I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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