i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
