Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Randomize
